GOOD MOURNING NEWS

Greetings:

Change is in the air...with the coolness of the atmosphere... the kaleidoscope of colour beginning to show in the leaves... the harvest moon...and the rustling breeze. The winds of change are blowing.

I find Fall such a poignant reminder of the Grief Journey... so much change. Just as nature is letting go of another season (literally), the bereaved are in a season of “letting go.”

Please know that with all the changes that are going on in your life...we continue to be here...to support you...to offer a beacon of hope through the seasons of change.

This Newsletter is full of events; support groups; resources and more to support you in your grief journey...and it is sent to you on the wing of a prayer...stamped with love.

You are important. Your healing is important. Please let us know how we can serve you and support you along your path. Besides all that you read in the se pages...we are always here ready to offer a listening ear, a discerning heart and information to grow on.

May Spirit light the path you walk with Hope...and may you know that you do not have to walk this path of grief alone.

Blessings to you, Della & Bren

When is IT the right time?

When is the right time to deal with my loved one’s possessions?

This is a question that plagues the minds of many of the bereaved. So what is the right time?

The fact is that like many of the grief issues that will arise, there is no hard and fast rule. In fact, the answer lies within the bereaved themselves. I am a believer in the bereaved knowing within themselves when “it is time”. They just know. Is it a month? Is it a year? It depends on the person. And when “it is time”, it is helpful to remember that it doesn’t have to happen all at once.

If you’ve been watching any of the organizational shows on television, you may have heard of an excellent format for processing your loved one’s belongings. The same process is suggested in Bereavement Resources. The format goes like this:

Create 3 piles

1. "The For-Sure I’m Keeping It Pile"

2. "The I Don’t Know Pile"

3. "The For-Sure It Goes Pile"

Now, put the “For-Sure I’m Keeping It" items in safe-keeping, or in a special place within your home or storage. Then, take the "I Don’t Know” items and place them in a bin in storage to be brought out in a certain length of time to review. And finally, take the "For-Sure It Goes” items and decide if you want to ask family members if they would like to choose from these items (please don't underestimate the meaning that the most mundane or miniscule items may have for family and friends), or place them in a container for a charitable organization, or release them for disposal. In a month or several months, take the “I Don’t Know” items and re-evaluate them, dividing the items into those same three piles and re-process.

In this manner, you will have honoured not only your loved one, but your family and yourself. You will have chosen the right time for you.

These items are called “linking objects” and they link us to the time when your loved one was physically present to you. As time passes, and your relationship with your loved one makes its transition from one of physical presence to memory and spirit, you will no longer feel a need to keep the items. You will be ready to let them go. That is the fullness of time.

Grief is a journey, please, take it one step at a time, all the while being gentle and patient and kind to yourself. Della Ferguson

LOOKING AHEAD

* * * * * *

Journey to Hope

A Fundraising Walk

Supporting Suicide Awareness & Prevention

Saturday, September 25, 2010 At Moose Jaw Crescent Park

12:00 –1:00 Registration 1:30 - 2:00 Walk

1:00 – 1:30 Opening Ceremony 2:00 – 2:30 Closing Ceremony

HOPE to those who feel hopeless by sharing resiliency information & counseling resources

HEALING to the bereaved by offering grief information & support resources

HONORING the memory of those who have died by suicide by reaching out to the hopeless & hurting

Call: 691-4715 for more information & pledge forms.

Pregnancy & Infant Loss

Walk to Remember

Saturday, October 2, 2010

10:00am-10:15am Registration 10:30am-11:00am Bird Release & Walk

10:15am-10:30am Opening Ceremony 11:00am-11:15am Closing Ceremony

Meet at W. J. Jones & Son Family Centre

262 Athabasca St. E.

We will walk through Crescent Park .

Come In Memory ÿCome In Honour ÿCome In Support

Surviving a Suicide Loss Video Conference Event

Saturday November 20, 2010 - 10:00am-Noon

@ W.J.Jones and Son Family Centre - 262 Athabasca St. E.

On this AFSP's National Survivors of Suicide Day, communities across North America will simultaneously view the 2010 National Survivors of Suicide Broadcast.

The broadcast includes a blend of emotional support and information about resources for healing. Questions that will be addressed which so many survivors face are:

Why did this happen? - How do I cope? - Where can I find support?

Fee Free - Everyone Welcome

LIFE LESSONS BOOKCLUB

Wednesday Mornings for 5 weeks

October 6th, 13th, 20th, 27th& ending November 3rd

9:30am-11:00am

Eat, Pray, Love by: Elizabeth Gilbert

The cost will be $12.00

Everyone is Welcome

Introductory Workshop

Building Resilience in Children

Thursday, September 16, 2010

@ 6:30pm-9:00pm

@ W. J. Jones & Son Family Centre

262 Athabasca St. E.

Facilitator: Susan Fryklund MSW, RSW

This educational and experiential workshop is for adults interested in learning ways to build resilience in children and in themselves.

Participants will learn:

· that resiliency is the capacity we all have within to rebound from stress and feelings of fear, helplessness and overwhelm

· how to respond to children’s pain, fears and joy which will help to develop happier, more confident and resilient children

Simple yet powerful tools will be taught to keep children safe from danger and to help them” bounce back” after feeling scared and overwhelmed. The workshop is based on teachings from Peter Levine and Maggie Kline authors of Trauma Proofing Your Kids: A Parents Guide for Instilling Confidence, Joy and Resilience & Trauma Through A Child’s Eyes

Fee Free - Call 691-4715 to register.

Everyone is Welcome

"Bow-Tie" Event

It's a fun gathering where we will be preparing the ornaments for the

Mourning Star Service & for the Memorial Tree at Providence Place.

If you would like to spend a morning tying bows,

enjoying some good company & some delicious treats, come to

W. J. Jones & Son Family Centre

Tuesday, November 16th, 2010

9:30 - 11:30 a.m.

(No experience required)

It is going to be "bow-tie-full"!

Everyone Welcome

Relaxation Breathing

Sometimes, grief can actually feel like it is taking our breath away...or leave us feeling anxious and unsettled. Good relaxation breathing can offer a sense of feeling "grounded" in the midst of chaos and can slow ourselves back down to a better coping level. We share with you this simple relaxation breathing exercise to put in your "coping toolkit" from: The Healing Sorrow Workbook by Peg Elliot Mayo.

The point of "four-stroke breathing" is to center and calm yourself as well as to provide energy and focus. It feels good, too! Four-stroke breathing begins with exhalation, which is cleansing, followed by the second stroke of being empty. The third stroke is filling or refreshing, and the fourth is being full.

Let's begin. For the first stroke, you will want to decide which feeling or idea you need to cleanse from your heart and spirit. From the following list, choose one of the most difficult feelings for you at the present moment. If what you know you need to cleanse isn't on the list, add it.

___ fear ___ helplessness ___ sadness ___ distrust

___ fatigue ___ shame ___ despair ___ cynicism

___ guilt ___ confusion ___ anger ___ isolation

Now it's time to choose what emotions or qualities you want to replace the stagnant or hurtful stuff just released with. Again, choose one of the most important at this time for your refreshment. If the quality you most want isn't listed, then add your own at the end.

___ trust ___ power ___ serenity ___ love

___ vitality ___ satisfaction ___ pleasure ___ curiosity

___ clarity ___ worthiness ___ hope

Breathing is the most fundamental of our body's processes. Mystics also hold that it connects us with the rest of creation. When you take conscious charge of your breath, you control not only your physical enrichment, but, by extension, your emotional metabolism.

1. Rest on your back or sit up comfortably. Check yourself for rigidity and do what you can to release it.

2. Lift your chin a little and unlock your jaw to provide an open airway.

3. Rest your ever-searching eyes by closing them or looking softly at a beautiful object.

4. Stroke one: Cleansing. Empty your breath through your mouth as completely as possible using belly muscles and ribs. This takes effort, because the pressure of the air outside the body is greater than that within. So, the metaphor supports the idea that it takes a little extra energy to cleanse used-up or toxic stuff. As you exhale old air, also consciously exhale one of the negative emotions you chose a moment ago. Empty as completely as you can.

5. Stroke two: Being empty. Be empty a moment. Reflect on the reality that you have released unwanted energy.

6. Stroke three: Refreshing. Through your nose (if possible) slooooowly fill up, not only with oxygen for your body's pleasure, but also with one of the positive emotions you've chosen.

7. Stroke four: Being full. Savour the moment of being full of the feeling you've chosen as most desirable.

You've done it! You've learned four-stroke breathing. It is a wonderful remedy for almost any difficult situation or feeling, easy to do and unobtrusive to perform even in a tense public situation.

Now repeat the cycle at least six times. If you lose your focus, just return to the beginning and start over-you'll soon get the hang of it. Do not force an artificial tempo on yourself: breathe in the four-stroke pattern at a pace natural to you. It is unlikely, but if you get dizzy, just stop, move around, get a drink of water, and settle yourself

SUPPORT GROUPS UPDATE

All the support groups meet @

w. j. jones & son family centre

262 Athabasca St.e.

If you have suffered loss in your life we invite you to join the Support Group

which would best suit your loss.

======================================

Pregnancy & Infant Loss

Grief Support for those who have experienced Pregnancy or Infant Loss

1st Wednesday of Each Month - 7:30pm - 9:00pm

Everyone is Welcome

HOPE

Grief Support for All Bereaved

2nd Wednesday of Each Month - 7:30pm - 9:00pm

Topic for September 8th: The Value of Ritual

Topic for October 13th: Gratitude

Topic for November 10th: Telling Your Story

Topic for December 8th: Coping with Christmas

* Note: Mourning Star Service Dec. 9th *

Everyone is Welcome

BEREAVED PARENTS

Grief Support for Parents who have experienced the death of a Child.

3rdWednesday of Each Month

7:30pm -9:00pm.

Topic for September 15th: Expensive Emotions

Topic for October 20th: Symbols

Topic for November 17th: The Physical Stress of Grieving

* Sunday December 12th, 2010 at 7:00pm - World Wide Candlelighting *

* Note: There will be NO Bereaved Parents Support Group for the Month of December participants are encouraged to attend the Hope Support Group Dec. 8th *

SURVIVORS OF SUICIDE

Grief Support for those who have experienced the death of a Loved One to Suicide

4th Wednesday of Each Month

7:30pm - 9:00pm.

Topic for September 22nd: Expensive Emotions

Topic for October 27th: Symbols

Topic for November 24th: The Physical Stress of Grieving

*Topic for December 15th Christmas *NOTE DATE CHANGE

*National Survivors of Suicide Day Saturday Nov. 20^th, 2010 -10:00am*

Everyone is Welcome

COMMON GROUND

Grief Support Group for Women who have experienced the death of the ir Husband

Tuesday Mornings for 5 weeks - 10:00a.m. - 11:30a.m.

Sessions

September 7th: Understanding Grief

September 14th: Understanding our Emotions

September 21st: Coping with Grief

September 28th: Redefinition & Search for New Identity

October 5th: Coping with Adjustments

Everyone is Welcome

What's New in the Resource LibrarY

Eat, Pray, Love

Eat, Pray, Love is built on the notion of a woman trying to heal herself from a severe emotional and spiritual crisis; Gilbert suggests more than once that she was at risk for suicide. She writes of feeling depressed and lonely in Italy , "and they flank me — Depression on my left, Loneliness on my right.”

Gilbert's subject is herself. Reeling from a contentious divorce, a volatile rebound romance and a bout of depression, she decided at 34 to spend a year traveling in Italy, India and Indonesia. "I wanted to explore one aspect of myself set against the backdrop of each country, in a place that has traditionally done that one thing very well," she writes. "I wanted to explore the art of pleasure in Italy, the art of devotion in India and, in Indonesia, the art of balancing the two."

From Gilbert’s experiences we learn that the most important stuff in life is pretty much under our noses, but we occasionally have to shake ourselves senseless in order to see it.

Eat Pray Love, takes the reader on two epic journeys - one through Italy, India and Indonesia and the other deep inside Gilbert's personal life’s journey to self discovery and more.

Author: Elizabeth Gilbert

******* ******* ******* *******

Walking the Path of Grief

We are doing well with our grief when we are grieving.

Somehow we have it backwards. We think people are doing well when they aren't crying.

Grief is a process of walking through some painful periods toward learning to cope again.

We do not walk this path without pain and tears.

When we are in the most pain, we are making the most progress.

When the pain is less, we are coasting and resting up for the next steps.

People need to grieve. Grief is not an enemy to be avoided; it is a healing path to be walked.

Surviving Miscarriage: You Are Not Alone

The authors’ intent in writing this guide is to give others the benefit of her own experience and to make sure that the pain is not compounded by uncertainty, unawareness, ignorance or lack of information. Miscarriage, stillbirth and any pregnancy loss are tragic events, one that none of us would wish on our worst enemies. Yet, if anything can help make it a little better, it is the certainty of knowing exactly what we are going through, the knowledge of what to expect and the tools to teach us how to cope.

For those who have suffered such heartbreak you will find help in the pages of this book, you find the compassionate support you so desperately need. Stacey McLaughlin survived two miscarriages in one year — and has learned the powerful secret to lasting inner healing and her desire is to share this with those who have also suffered such loss.

McLaughlin addresses the variety of emotions a woman experiences after a miscarriage and focuses on how to mend your soul. This book will give you guidance in how to write your own journal of your journey to understanding strength and healing. You’ll be gently guided through meaningful steps to help you banish undeserved shame, embrace comforting emotional recovery, and move forward with confident hope for your future.

Author: Stacey J. McLaughlin, PhD

“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.” —Kahlil Gibran

My Uncle Keith Died

This story is told from a ten year old boy’s, Cody’s, perspective. How he loved his Uncle Keith and how he felt about his Uncles’ death by suicide. Cody’s search for understanding and his own great desire to help make a difference for those who suffer from depression.

When asking his mother about it and searching for something to do to help she said, “Cody, we can all do something to help. I remember my grandmother often told me, ‘We only need a small pebble to create a big wave.’ Everyone can do something to make a difference in the lives of our friends and family. However, we need to take the first step and pay attention to the feelings of others.”

Cody developed a plan in which he would be a pebble creating a ripple effect in order to help others.

This is a great book for parents, teachers, cousellors and caregivers to read with a child who has experienced the loss of a loved one to suicide. The book is equipped with a discussion guide in the back to help initiate healthy discussion in order to bring understanding and healing.

Author: Carol Ann Loehr

Drop in and visit our Resource Library

Book Return:

If you have borrowed a book and are finished with it,

just drop it off in the book slot at

W. J. Jones and Son Family Centre.

Thanks so much!

National Grandparents Day

On September 11th we will be observing National Grandparents Day. This day is set aside to honour the family and to nurture the love and respect for our elders, our individual heritage, and our unique roots. For some of us we have already been bereaved of our grandparents and yet we remember them so well. Here are some suggestion below to help us in building upon the memories we have of times shared with our special grandparents who have left an indelible mark upon our lives.

How Can You Celebrate Grandparents Day?

Here are several great ideas for celebrating Grandparents Day with your family.

Discover your family roots together. Revisit old scrapbooks or make a new one. Look at old photo albums. Complete a family tree. In sharing your memories, you are giving life to them.
Write a letter expressing to your Grandparent(s) all that they have meant in your life.
Make a list of the character qualities you admire about your grandparents and which ones you personally would like to emulate in your own life.
Visit the grave of your grandparents and take them flowers.
Light a candle in memory of your grandparents.
Prepare and serve your Grandparents favourite meal or dessert.
Volunteer with your family members at a local nursing home, and share the energy you would like to share with your grandparents with others.
If possible take a walk around the old family homestead.

Whatever you choose to do to celebrate your grandparents do it remembering the love that you shared with one another and the rich heritage that is yours’.

“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while,

so that we can see life with a clearer view again.” —Alex Tan

Remembrance Day

On Remembrance Day, we stand in solidarity with the multitudes of people who remember a loved one who died while serving our country, Canada.

As we stand in solidarity, may we not only honour the multitudes but let us not lose sight of the individuals. May we honour the individuals who gave their lives for our freedom as well as those who laid their lives on the line for Peace. And the individuals who were affected deeply by their losses . . . mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and friends…comrades. . . .

AT THE GOING DOWN OF THE SUN… AND IN THE MORNING…

WE WILL REMEMBER THEM.

We will pause that Sacred Moment

Amidst Remembrance Day

To bow our head in silence…

And lift our hands and pray…

We’ll wear the blood red poppy,

And we’ll give our honour to

All those who fought for freedom…

With hearts that say,

“Thank you”

"Remembering the person I have loved allows me to heal. Healing does not mean I will forget. Actually, it means I will remember." Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

"Our loved ones are still and always will be a part of us. They are threads in our fabric and we cannot lose their love." Darcie D. Sims, Touch Stones

=========================================================================

"Links" to Support you

Below you will find listed sites from the Internet that we have found helpful in grief support of all types of bereavement. We believe you will be able to find some helpful material when you browse these sites.

www.griefhealing.com

www.bereavedfamilies.net

www.webhealing.com

www.compassionatefriends.org

www.dougy.org

www.griefnet.org

www.growthhouse.org

www.survivorsofsuicide.com

www.missfoundation.org

www.nationalshare.org

www.petloss.com

www.starregistry.ca

www.widownet.org

www.siblingloss.org

Office Hours

Della Ferguson

Monday - Friday

9:00-12:00 1:00-5:00

Brenda Moore

Monday - Friday

9:00 - 1:00

We have an answering machine for your convenience.

Please do not hesitate to leave a message.

691-4715

E-Mail Support

If you have an e-mail address and would like to receive any mailings from us by email send us your address by

Emailing: Della at jonesfamilycenter@wjjonesandson.com